Aduna sapi nama. Lui nyerin nyi dunda?Everyday, lives are lost just as quickly as they are gained. And everyday, many grieve, while many others rejoice. Allah gives life, and when He desires, He takes it.
The few times I tried writing about loss and grief, I had only found grief at the loss of my first pet, a parrot. Yes, I have lost humans before. I had lost uncles, a cousin, a friend’s parent, a friend’s friend etc., but though their departure from life did bring me pain and heart break, it lasted for no longer than a week or two. Not even when I lost the only grandparent, I had the blessing of seeing.
It is deranged. How life works. One day you are perfectly well and embracing life’s blessings, the next you are bringing sorrow to those who love you.
I am still unable to comprehend what really happened. I phoned my sister to seek some sort of explanation of how such happens, because she is a doctor, she would know. And maybe then I would at least be able to understand what was going on. “It just happens.”
I had never had to lose a friend. The Gambia lost an amazing young man. A source of light wherever he went.
The last thing Ismaila said to me was capasite. Not once in my life did I imagine I would have to cherish a word as much as I am cherishing capasite right now. What a lively person he was. Everyone who knew Iss knew him for kindness, politeness, mercy, patience, love, amusement, brilliance, truly genuine, and incredibly talented at the art of drawing.
It brings me comfort knowing that he means a lot to the people around him, and even those who were not close to him knew him for the good energy he had and spread. I am softened, knowing that he found the love of his life and had time with her, though she desired there was more of it.
Until today, people are still grieving and mourning in their individual ways. There are those who share the memories they had with him and reading them brings me – and perhaps many others – a sense of happiness. There are those who remain in solitude and prayers. Some mourn through tears and some mourn through numbness. Each is valued. But in the process of it all, we must not forget to pray for him.
How one overcomes grief, if they ever do, is a new mystery to me. One that I am unsure when I will solve. But for now, I will join the rest of his friends and family in mourning. While we grieve, there will be days where we will be fine and we will learn to live life as we knew it, but there will also be days where we will feel hopeless and we will breakdown. We will have dark days where we feel alone all over again and the pain will return like a fresh cut. In those days, think of your deceased loved one. Think of all the elation and beauty they brought to your life, and you say a prayer for them. In those days, you will learn to find hope – through memories you share – in the midst of hopelessness. You will be alright.
When you think about Ismaila and all the kindness, humor and light he brought to our lives, you will know he was a good person. And Allah says in the Qur’an, in Surah Al-Rahman, “is the reward for goodness aught but goodness?”
It is disheartening how I had to lose a friend to remember that any other day, it could be me, or you, or your friend. You must also remember, you can never be certain of what tomorrow holds. Forgive, seek forgiveness. Be kind and seek kindness. Spread peace and light wherever you go. Love, cherishingly.
Capasite.
Please say a prayer for Ismaila Ibrahima Barry. It would be of benefit to him and will be highly appreciated by his friends and family.